Nursing Bra Nightmare
I am sorry I haven’t written in so long. So much has been going on in this little life I lead that I just haven’t had time to write. I hope that now that things have settled some, I can pick up on this little old blog of mine.
I have also had a wicked case of writer’s block. I can’t come up with anything. I figured I should go back to what I know well, start writing, and see what happens.
I know two things well (as far as this blog is concerned). I know how to write about embarrassment and I know how to write about Target.
So here comes an embarrassing Target story!
Over the last couple months, I have been trying harder to “look more attractive.” This means that instead of wondering around greater Charlotte in pajama pants and a hand combed pony tail, I actually shower, apply make up, find something pretty to put on, and accessorize. I have enjoyed it. I feel like I am setting a good precedent for my girls, that they won’t equate “mom” with “ewww.” Or “slobby lady that doesn’t try very hard.”
All that to say that on Fridays, I try especially hard. I get to escape the confines of motherhood and have adult food, laughter and sometimes deep conversation with some students and wives at an RTS Bible study. This particular Friday, I had chosen a cute blouse. It was a pretty blue, sort of abstract print. It made me feel young, modern…hip even. I put it on.
Put together with my favorite jeans, some blue dangle earrings, and my brown riding boots, I felt like a hot mama! There was one thing that bothered me as I looked in the mirror. It was that this shirt seemed to want to slip down and show off my 9 month old nursing bra. The best bra in my nursing arsenal. Let’s call it, “The Old Gray Mare.” The OGM kept rearing its ugly head over my shirt no matter how much I tugged at it. As far as being easy on the eyes, the OGM? She ain’t what she used to be. 
Jason walked in and was all appreciative of my look. I told him that I thought I needed a tank top underneath. He asked an odd question…”Do you know what time it is?”
I was like, “Uh, time to put on a tank top?”
He reminded me that I had about 10 minutes to get to a destination 20 minutes away. Late again!
I figured I would just be super aware of my shirt so as to not let the OGM out of the stable, so to speak.
The shirt behaved well at the bible study. The dangle earrings fell out of my ears like five times with all their swinging to and fro. Oh well.
After my mommy time, I zipped home, nursed Lucy, picked up the kids from school, brought them home, and then remembered I had to pick up a prescription at Target. Jason said he would just watch the kids so that I could go out twice by myself. IN ONE DAY!
Needless to say, I lived it up, my extra hour and a half. I zipped out of the driveway, cranked up the radio, and drove toward Target.
As the automatic doors slide open for me, I marched in, breathed that fresh, popcorn-y smelling Target air, and sighed. Ah Target, a poor man’s Anthropologie.
I thought I would peep around at the Dollar Spot. That is always fun. I smiled at everyone and I am sure my body language was screaming: LOOK AT ME! I AM AT TARGET! ALONE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!
I made a return, picked up my prescription, grabbed a couple groceries, and spent some time in the home goods just dreaming about all the fun I could have with the candles and lamps and rugs if I some how hit the Target jackpot. But it was getting late and I knew I had a lovable crew that was probably getting hungry, so I checked out.
The checkout is always where it happens.
And by “it”, I mean, when I realize I have spent an hour and a half blissfully skipping around Target when something was obviously very wrong.
This time, I look down for some reason, and I see my shirt and bra have ganged up against me in the most horrific way.
My shirt had slid far, FAR down. Not only are my straps that reign in the OGM obvious, but they aren’t even hooked back up to her “cups.” The cups, as you can see, are actually loudly neighing over the edge of my shirt. In short, I basically went through Target, feeling cool, when in reality, I was showing off 50% or more of my very old, unhooked nursing bra to everyone.
Upon reflecting on this experience, I just have to believe this stuff doesn’t just happen to me. I mean, it just can’t. But I have clocked plenty of hours at major retailers and grocery stores during my life, and not once have I ever seen a super happy lady with her unhooked nursing bra showing. Not once.
I guess I inadvertently aim to give shoppers once in a lifetime experiences.
So tell me, am I alone here? Or have you ever had a wardrobe malfunction? Do you have an Old Gray Mare? Should I go back to pajama pants and messy pony tails? Let me know!
My New Idea for the New Year
For a long while, I have had this nagging idea in the back of my head about starting a new blog where I can explore some of my thoughts and feelings about my faith. I have been afraid to do so because I worry that I would offend people, or more importantly, lead readers to embrace incorrect biblical ideas and thoughts.
So I haven’t.
Then I picked up Tim Keller’s The Reason for God. And I read this:
A faith without some doubts is like a human body without any antibodies in it. People who blithely go through life too busy or indifferent to ask hard questions about why they believe as they do will find themselves defenseless against either the experience of tragedy or the probing questions of a smart skeptic. A person’s faith can collapse almost overnight if she has failed over the years to listen patiently to her own doubts, which should only be discarded after long reflection.
Believers should acknowledge and wrestle with doubts – not only their own but their friends’ and neighbors’. It is no longer sufficient (in this increasingly skeptic world) to hold your beliefs just because you inherited them. Only if you struggle long and hard with objections to your faith will you be able to provide grounds for your beliefs to skeptics, including yourself, that are plausible rather than ridiculous or offensive. And…such a process will lead you, even after you come to a position of strong faith, to respect and understand those who doubt.” – Tim Keller, The Reason for God.
I was like, Tim Keller? Have you been reading my mind?
So I am going to plunge ahead, as time allows, exploring my questions. I am really excited about it. Part of my excitement comes from just being able to dig into God’s word with more depth to seek in order to find, even if it takes a long time. My other bit of excitement is in knowing that I can share what I find with anyone who has the same questions. I know I am not the only one who wonders the things I wonder.
I want to look into God and suffering, the doctrine of election, the mystery and glory of Jesus Christ, the beauty of the Gospel, Hell, Heaven and whatever else the Holy Spirit prompts me to investigate.
So for 2012, I plan to be all up in Jason’s apologetic books. Please lift me up in prayer as I begin my adventure!
Christmas Card Outtakes – The Present Years
Christmas 2010 –The Year I Lost All December 2010 Pictures
I got nothing here. 
Seriously, I have them on Facebook but they are no where to be found on my external hard drive. Grrr….
I suppose I will share my favorite shot off Facebook. That picture would be the kids that caused my mom to turn into a “Grandmaholic.”
Speaking of, my sister Lisa, who owns 1/2 of the kids pictured, shared her favorite Christmas Card Outtakes with me. I love them!
The first she shared was from 2006. She entitled it, “Devil Dogs.”
Yes indeed. The dogs look possessed. Willow (the lighter dog) looks like she might enjoy drinking blood. Or playing fetch with zombies. Eek!
The second submission of Lisa’s was adorable. She wrote, “This is when Ryan was still adjusting to the fact that he had two sisters and his life would never have a dull moment.”
Thanks for the giggles Lisa! If you want to check out more of her adorable family and their adventures, you can read her blog here.
Christmas 2011 –The Field of Dreams
There is this hay field really close to our house. Ever since we moved here, I have been wanting to trespass on it and take some incredible pictures of my family. A couple weeks ago, I told Jason that I wanted my Christmas present to be some picture taking in the field without any moaning or groaning.
Santa came early for Mommy this year.
Yes, we got some outtakes:
Apparently, Anthony wants to play fetch with the devil dogs here.
Here Abby is hamming it up, as usual.
No more kisses, please!
Spending time with the Droid.
Looking tired and being munched on.
But buried in all the funny outtakes, there were some wonderful captures.
I think 2011 was finally the year I got it right. I love these pictures. They were the best present a mom could have!
Jason and I looked through all the jewels and finally decided on this as the official 2011 Piteo Family Christmas Photo. We couldn’t decide between the the following two:
or 
I argued for the bows but he really liked the Santa hats. So we came to a compromise:
Keeping it simple this year. It’s my very favorite picture.
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, sweet friends and family. I am truly blessed to know you and be loved by you all.
Christmas Card Outtakes – The Later Years
Continuing on from yesterday…
Christmas 2007 –Mommy’s Having a Breakdown
Unfortunately, Christmas 2007 was not the best Christmas ever, as I was hurling headlong into my fight with anxiety and depression. Needless to say, I didn’t really have it in me to do any awesome Christmas pictures. All I have is these:
The top one looks like a little four year old protecting his two year old sister from the constant sobbing of their mother. It breaks my heart.
In the bottom one, their expressions remind me a little of American Gothic:
Christmas 2008 –Christmas or Pentecost?
Christmas 2008 was an interesting year for Christmas Pictures. I formulated this idea that we’d pose in front of the fireplace all wearing matching white shirts. I thought it would look cozy. Jason built a fire. I wrangled the kids into their button-down shirts. We had all been through the ringer that year and by golly, we came out stronger and it was going to show!
Pretty good, huh? Some of the smiles looked forced, some are non-existent, but it is good enough.
But I took one more shot.
OH MY! We are all smiling! Most of the smiles are genuine. There is unity! Closeness! Love! It’s a keeper!
We printed off a bazillion and sent them across the world. We even blew the picture up to give to both sets of parents. Who wouldn’t want to display this beauty?
But somewhere along the way, someone made a comment that it looked like Jason’s head was on fire. It was probably my brother. I haven’t been able to enjoy this picture as much ever since that was pointed out.
Christmas 2009 – The Year Mommy Found Picnik.com and Lost her Sense of Good Taste
It all started so innocently. The kids were playing in front of the Christmas tree and I started to take some pictures of them. Then I thought I would do some editing through this new website I had been told about called Picnik. Then I spent too much time playing with the new website and here are the results.
I call this one, “Choir Boy and Princess Artificial Flowers Get Stuck in a Mall Santa Picture without Santa.”
Oh, there are more where that came from:
Fa-La-La-La-La…La, La, Laaa, Laaa!
She is a vision in pink and plastic!
Then, as if that wasn’t cheesy enough, one snowy, 20 below zero day in Cleveland, Ohio, I had what I thought was a COMPLETELY BRILLIANT idea. I would drive down the street to a church that had set up a plywood cutout nativity scene.
I would bring two white sheets. Wait for it…wait for it…
and I would have the kids wrap themselves up in the sheets and pose in the midst of the plywood and reverently look toward Baby Jesus! It was gonna be my best Christmas Card idea EVER.
So we trespassed onto the church property. The weather was HORRIBLE. It was a wind chill advisory day, I am pretty sure.
But when Mommy gets an idea, the idea sometimes forces out common sense.
Here’s poor Anthony, freezing his arse off with the wise men.
I can promise you that the kids tried to be reverent here, but their faces were so frozen (with both cold and anger). I remember yelling and yelling at them, “Pull the sheets around your coats!! I see the coats!” Maybe I thought I was actually going to fool someone into believing that we weren’t in the front yard of a church we don’t belong to, but we were indeed in Bethlehem. From the way Abby’s smiling at me, she looks about ready to wrap me up and drag me off to a place where it’s warm and moms don’t subject their kids to frostbite for Christmas pictures.
Major fail.
I did my best, in the year of Picnik.com, to salvage the dream. By golly, my kids were going to be honoring the Christ child in our 2009 Christmas Card. So I worked for hours…and here is the final result:
Coming up tomorrow Christmas 2010 and the reveal of the Piteo Family Christmas Photo 2011!
Also thanks so much for the submissions of your own Christmas Card fails! It makes me laugh and I feel like I am in good company! Please keep them coming! Send them to jill@piteo.net and I will share them on Friday!
Christmas Card Outtakes – The Early Years
They say that a photographer should never do his or her own family’s portraits.
I never listen and am always optimistic as fall turns to winter that THIS will be the year I get the shot that makes for the best Christmas card ever.
I am still waiting, but in the meantime, I have quite a few gems from Christmas Card Photos Past.
Christmas 2003 – Our First Christmas Photo
What we didn’t send:
Christmas 2004 – No Christmas Picture…too busy making cookies with a 13 month old.
Christmas 2005 – No Christmas Picture – Too exhausted from having two kids under two.
Christmas 2006 – The Year Mommy Tries Too Hard
What we sent:
What we didn’t send (Love these!!!):
These last two…some of my all time favorites. I am sure I was throwing a huge fit/bribing/cajoling and it wasn’t working.
The above one is what I should have sent. It looked more like a typical, average day in my life.
Finally…the kids’ body language seem to indicate that they are done.
Anyone else out there brave enough to share their “not so perfect” Christmas shots? Please e-mail them to jill@piteo.net! More tomorrow…and if I get any submissions, I will post them later this week!
5 days and counting! Merry Christmas!
